Email Marketing Secret: What Would Jesus Email?
by: Joan Pasay
I was reading a management development article the other day and learned that if I wanted to succeed, I should look to persons who have succeeded before me, and do what they did. Seemed easy enough. I just needed to identify some marketing geniuses and I would be set. I pondered long and hard who I wanted to put on my list that I would emulate. Who had stood the test of time and was still standing?
I was not getting very far, and my list was pretty short, so I headed off to Starbucks. Maybe a grande latte, with a double shot, would help jolt my memory. I was standing at the coffee bar waiting for a sleeve when I saw a rather peculiar bracelet on the barista's wrist.
WWJD was all it said.
"What the heck did WWJD stand for?" I thought. "Wine, women, and Jack Daniels perhaps? No, probably some marketing attempt from some record shop or something."
Noticing my trance-like stare at the bracelet, the barista whispered, "What Would Jesus Do?" giggled, and disappeared to go find more sleeves."What Would Jesus Do?" I wondered. "What kind of a weird question was...
"Oh my god, I mean -- gosh! Jesus was a perfect marketing genius. His teachings are still around today and he has been dead for thousands of years. He would be a perfect name for my list!" I realized.
Since my primary focus is Email Marketing I made up my own bracelet.
WWJE? Or What Would Jesus Email?
I wore the bracelet for a few days but did not feel any different (except for the rash I developed from the paint I had used on the leather). I quickly realized I did not know very much about Jesus and I needed some help or I would never find out his marketing secrets. Who could help me find out What Would Jesus Email?
I got out my Palm Pilot and pondered who, in my address book, could help me. I looked at my bracelet for guidance. WWJ --E...
I looked under 'E'. The first entry was Madame Emael. Could a psychic help me find out What Would Jesus Email?
"What the hell, I mean -- heck," I thought, I would give it a shot.
Since Madame Emael had already helped me with the 'Duplicate Freaky Email Incident' we skipped the casual conversation. I did not even tell her why I was visiting. I guess she already knew because before I realized what was happening the lights went low and she started to caress her crystal ball and hum a sweet melody.
I waited, across the dimly lit room. Surely Madame Emael would be able to tell me, or get Jesus himself to tell me, the marketing secrets that had stood the test of time.
"With whom do you wish to speak?" Madame Emael sung in a sweet bird-like voice.
"The greatest marketer of all time." I said. "I thought you already knew."
Vigorously caressing her crystal ball Madame Emael whispered, "Ok, let's see if we can find -- Cory Rudl and see what he is up to." It was really dark but I could see the crystal ball start to flicker with sparks of light and I was kind of mesmerized, almost in a trance. Then I realized what she had said.
"Cory Rudl?" I exclaimed, into the darkness. No offense, but he has only been gone a few months, I'm sure he contributed to Internet Marketing and stuff but I want to speak to a marketer that has stood the test of time for thousands of years. Cory would have to wait awhile before he met that qualification. "I was wanting to speak with Jesus, you know, the guy that Mel Gibson made that super-violent movie about," I said.
Suddenly, Madame Emael's voice changed. It was deep, kind of gravelly and I could hear very heavy breathing. It sort of sounded like the voice was growling.
"Oh, crap!" my mind raced. Maybe this was not such a good idea. The management article said go read books by successful people, it did not suggest the option of conquering up dead marketers' spirits with a psychic. Was that Cory growling? Had I offended him? Or worse, was it Jesus and he was upset? I knew Jesus had gotten ticked off in a temple once and threw all the furniture around. I was just wanting some marketing advice. I held onto my chair, just in case the furniture started moving.
The deep, gravel-like voice spoke slowly into the darkness, "Did you say you want to speak to -- Jesus?"
I closed my eyes, too scared to imagine what was about to happen.
And with that the lights flicked on and there stood Madame Emael, or rather some guy that looked like Madame Emael holding Madame Emael's hair in his hand, or rather her wig.
He/she grabbed my coat, and threw it at me.
"Get out!" he yelled in a deep man's voice.
"What are you doing, Madame Emael? Hey, you're a guy!" I yelled as I was shoved out the door.
Madame Emael, or Monsieur Emael quickly explained to me, as he was pushing me out the front entrance, that Jesus and all the great spiritual leaders where off limits and if he tried to contact them he would lose his state license. He said I should go and confess right away because going to a physic to speak to Jesus was border lining on some word that sounded a lot like hearsay but I could not make out what he was saying because I was too busy trying to find my car keys so I could get the heck out of there.
(continued...)
Email Marketing Secret: What Would Jesus Email?
Page 2
About The Author
Joan Pasay
Brought to you by the -- Email Marketing Club: The only place on the Internet where Email Marketing is FUN!
Join now and receive a gift - guaranteed to increase your status with your friends, co-workers and boss. Click below: http://www.emailmarketingmadeeasy.com/email_marketing_club
Check out our popular ebook Email Marketing Made Easy & one on one expert Email Marketing coaching at http://www.EmailMarketingMadeEasy.com
Have you done some bad things this week? Want to earn good karma to erase it all? Forward this article to your friends, enemies and anyone else you know that has an email inbox. You can even print this article and post it everywhere there are people. The Internet karma gods won't know the difference.
Copyright Joan Pasay - 2005
|
|
